I was in a hotel room the other day and pulled out the bible from the drawer in the end-table under the lamp. I guess you could say I was bored. Very bored. I was also curious - not to read the scriptures, I am not at all religious - but to answer the nagging question: Who in the hell is Gideon and why does he does he put his bible in hotel rooms?
I know Gideon is a character in the bible and, like most people, I have heard the term "Gideons Bible" at various random points in my life. I have certainly come across my share of copies in hotel rooms from Honolulu to Hong Kong to Moscow. Honestly, without much thought or consideration, I had always assumed that it was a particular type or translation of the bible, similar to the King James Bible. Or maybe a version that excerpted the sections dealing with Gideon and his doubts about God. What I didn't realize, but found out through a bit of Googling this morning, was that I was wrong. What it is is a worldwide organization of men - only men, although members' wives can become 'auxiliaries' - devoted to distributing bibles. And not just any men either. Gideons only accepts as members "professionals and businessmen". Does that mean a factory worker cannot volunteer to distribute bibles? Apparently so. For some reason, only professional men are considered capable of placing bibles into hotel rooms. Is the thinking that otherwise they might have to worry about theft of the merchandise?
I suppose I should have been better informed as I grew up in a small town only 20 miles from Janesville Wisconsin, the place that Gideons Internatonal was founded 100 or so years ago. But I've been in the town hundreds of times and never saw any advertisement or mention of the connection.
Fine by me.
The Bible Shortage?
I don't typically criticize philanthropic organizations or non-profits, but the work that Gideons does seems so tragically wasteful in the world that we live in. I'm sorry, but I can't help but think what a waste of time, money, resources and effort it is to stick bibles into hotel rooms. Last year, according to their site, the organization had revenues of approximately $150 million. Imagine if that much money, and the efforts of an energized volunteer base, were put into something useful, like ending hunger or helping the poor. Or what about promoting literacy, without which there is not much need for bibles in the first place?
Is there really a shortage of bibles in this world? It's my view that anyone who actually wants a bible most likely will find access to one. Most churches hand out copies to their parishioners. I have never heard about poor people in developing countries suffering because they don't have a bible. They suffer because they don't have enough food or can't read and write.
Does Anybody Read Them?
Another thing is that, to the extent I have checked them, the hotel-room bibles always appear untouched and unread. The organization is apparently touchy about this subject because it is the first issue addressed in the FAQ section of their site. According to them, each bible has a six-year life span and is read by approximately 25% of travelers. Yeah, right. 0.25% more like it. The bibles I've seen, with their unblemished covers and stiff binding, appear untouched by any actual reader. In this age of the internet, wouldn't it be easier to work out a deal with the hotel chains to send each guest an electronic copy by e-mail?
And one point of bible etiquette: are the bibles only for reading in the room or is it acceptable to take your copy with you when you check out? If not, is it considered stealing if you do? Just wondering.
The Gideons web site states that their mission is to "reach the lost". If that is truly their mission they seem to have found a wonderfully bizarre means of doing it. Is there really a higher percentage of 'lost' people in the Ritz Carlton or the Hilton down the street? They must have a tremendous miss to hit ratio.
Another interesting tidbit is that they distribute literature to members of the armed forces, but in this case what they distribute is not the same bibles that they place in hotel rooms but only copies of the New Testament. I wonder why that is?
I Vote for Tolstoy
Which got me to thinking. If distributing books is what they like to do, what about distributing something else? Imagine how great it would be to enter a hotel room knowing that the drawer contained some random, varied selection of the world's great literature. Readership of the classics would skyrocket. Or, baring that, maybe a selection from the Times bestseller list.
Just a thought. In my dream hotel I would check into my room to find a copy of Anna Karenina or Farewell to Arms in my desktop drawer. I've been meaning to read those for ages.
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